


The Avengers (FAIL! Edition)

by Los_Gwilwileth



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Basically this is just the Avengers failing at Avengering with Snarky! Jarvis, Community: avengerkink, Crack, Crack with a small side of serious, Gen, Humour, Mjolnir causes chaos, The eagle is still pissed off ok
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-13
Updated: 2015-06-13
Packaged: 2018-04-04 05:15:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4126656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Los_Gwilwileth/pseuds/Los_Gwilwileth
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fill for a prompt on the Avenger Kink Meme:</p><p>Let's assume that people know about Avengers (like in Thor 2) and you know what? People also have phones. With cameras. And they tend to record stuff. And you know what else? They also have youtube. </p><p>Basically small snapshots of scenes in an Avengers Fail! Compilation.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Avengers (FAIL! Edition)

**Author's Note:**

> Full prompt:
> 
> Let's assume that people know about Avengers (like in Thor 2) and you know what? People also have phones. With cameras. And they tend to record stuff. And you know what else? They also have youtube. 
> 
> What might be in the video :   
> \- Thor failing to catch his hammer (like in the bloopers of avengers!)   
> \- Iron Man suit hitting Tony in the face/crotch   
> \- Natasha slipping on the ice/falling on her butt   
> \- Hulk accidentally hitting himself/knocking himself over   
> \- Fury's or Thor's or even Loki's cape getting stuck somewhere (because Edna is always right!)  
> \- Hawkeye using gun and forggeting about the force of it and getting hit in the face with the gun   
> \- Coulson trying to run somewhere and missing the door by inches and hitting the wall   
> \- Steve's being attacked at the zoo by an eagle 
> 
> Anything, really. 
> 
> Bonuses : JARVIS records some of the videos at Stark Tower and post them on yt; Ice bucket challenge fails; 
> 
> You can also include : SHIELD TV series, Daredevil TV series, Age of Ultron and X-men and Spider-man. All is fine with me :D
> 
> Original Prompt Thread: [Original Thread](http://avengerkink.livejournal.com/20598.html?thread=50834550#t50834550)
> 
> I own nothing except my harassed OC, Jacob.

SNAPSHOTS OF SCENES IN THE YOUTUBE VIDEO OF AVENGER FAILS:

 

Thor did some fancy-pants spinning manoeuvre with Mjolnir, and while it did take out several of the Chitauri, it also took out the windows of the office building across the street.

Inside said building, Jacob (call centre answering monkey/verbal punching bag) looked at the smoking remains of the coffee machine.

"Fuck this. I need expresso, but now I have to drink Earl Grey."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Parts of the new Iron Man suit, which was scattered around Tony's workshop/lab/dumping ground for things-that-might-be-useful-later-on-aka-I-cannot-be-stuffed-to-dispose-of-this-crap-plus-it-might-be-important, were being "upgraded", when the crotch piece of the suit went flying across the room and hit a certain genius/playboy/billionaire/philanthropist rather forcefully in the groin area. Suddenly, JARVIS's voice came over the comms.

"There goes one half of the Stark Family treasures."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Natasha, the Black Widow, is a silent killer.

A trained assassin.

Professional agent.

A person who actually manages to look sort-of elegant when she slips on the ice-covered street and lands hard on her ass, cursing in Russian. Clint's voice comes from one of the rooftops of the district.

"Ouch. Would you like some ice for that, Romanoff? Oh wait, you already have some."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"HULK SMASH!!!!!!!!"

The tarmac buckled under the impact of a muscle-bound, green-skinned body.

"Not towards your face, Mr. Green Rage Monster."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

One of the Chitauri hurls something that looks like a Japanese shuriken, only five times the size, and three shouts rise in the air-one in English, the others in presumably Old Norse. Captain America turns to see possibly the strangest sight in the history of both S.H.I.E.L.D and The Avengers.

Thor, Loki and Nick Fury have been pinned by their flowing outerwear to a park bench, and three fabric samples are left behind as the man and gods hurriedly free themselves from their entrapment to fulfil their various heroic/not-so-heroic deeds.

"YOU WILL PAY FOR THE REPAIRS, LOKI!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hawkeye never misses.

However, that statement only applies to his target.

Not his face.

He tries to ignore the blossoming pain in his cheekbone as he drops the shotgun, cursing the enemies weapon manufacturer for not reducing the recoil of the firearm. Of course, that's when Natasha's voice comes floating over from the adjacent block of the compound.

"I don't have any ice for that, Agent Barton."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_Fuck Tony, fuck S.H.I.E.L.D, fuck whoever was involved in this prank._

It was bad enough that they had rigged a mechanical jack-in-the-box complete with sound effects, but to put Loki's image on it?  
That was one step to far.  
Agent Phil Coulson fully admits that it was not his finest moment when he crashed through the wall as he back-pedalled away from the life-sized figure of Loki, which had somehow appeared as soon as he opened his office door.

He turns around from his nest of smashed drywall and plaster to see Nick standing in the corridor, hands on his hips and face angry enough to burn a twin hole in the former wall of his office.

"Sir, I was aiming for the door!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Go away, you overgrown, patriotic pigeon!"

Steve Rodgers cowers under the protection of his shield as the enraged eagle pecks at whatever exposed body part it can reach. He considers the ironic symbolism of his position as he lies on the floor of the zoo's eagle aviary.

_He, Captain America, is hiding from freedom._

The bird shows no sign of abating its attack, so he curls up tighter under the shield, careful to keep his fingers away from the jabbing beak. 

"Dammit,Bucky, you were right. I should have brought the stale bread."

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading and/or leaving a comment and/or kudo.


End file.
